Climate Change

A group of my friends and I just started reading a book: "Primal" by Mark Batterson. In the first chapter the author points out Matthew 22:37:

"love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, and with all of your strength."

I think most folks, especially Christians would say "Amen" to that. I mean, how could you really argue with it? It appears to be a nicely wrapped up, well polished, high gloss verse that makes us feel good right? Verse 37 is Jesus' response to the question asked of Him in verse 36; " teacher, what is the great commandment in the law?"

Looking at it a littler closer, it is Jesus' answer to being asked "what is THE most important thing we can do?"

If this is "the great commandment" that I as a christian am supposed to do I asked myself the question "do you love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, and with all of your strength."

Honestly, and NOT to my surprise, the answer is "no." "No Ryan, you don't."

Don't leave me alone here...so stop here with me and ask yourself: "do you love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, and with all of your strength."

Do you?

No. Really. Do you?

I hope you can honestly, I mean honestly answer that with a yes. If you can't, well you're not alone.

Everyone goes through seasons in a relationship where the warm and fuzzy feelings are more and less present. I would say it is humanly impossible to be in a relationship and always be on cloud 9. The distinction here is humanly. I "know" (not necessarily feel) that God has His hand on me daily and has so long before any of us took our first breath.

If I were just going through a season perhaps I wouldn't be so convicted by the question I asked myself. Seasons however, turn. What I have been forced to acknowledge is that I have had far too many seasons where the answer to the posed question is "No. No you don't." I have found myself in an ever solidifying climate of cognitive, relative obedience.

What the heck does that mean? In my mind I know that God is God, Jesus is His Son who's feet touched the same earth ours do. He was crucified and after being physically dead, was raised. And in His battered earthly body walked again. For what is probably a couple of years I have known about this the same way I know that when jumping a car battery, it is a really good idea not to connect the negative terminal of one car to the positive of the other. I "know" this and can tell other folks about but as far as it really affected my daily life, it doesn't. During and after incredible church services with core shaking messages and music would bring angels to tears am I not moved one bit to fall on the altar, to get on my knees and pray. Am I?

By relative obedience I mean that I "think" that (insert some random percentage which is probably lower than I can guess) of the time, I "know" the "right" things to do, and do them. What is more telling are the things I "know" to do, and don't or conversely, "know" not to do and do them anyway. At this moment I may be tempted to ask "yeah, but, aren't you a pretty stand up guy? You do this, and that, and the other that are all good? You go to church."

The answer to that? Um, maybe? That however, is one, not the question and two, something I think God is ultimately not very concerned with. After all, Jesus did not respond in verse 37 by saying "be as swell of a guy that you can." No. He gave a very clear and yes, tall order.

I absolutely have to get beyond the world's view, and even or especially my own created scale of how good, nice, great, moral, blah blah of a person I am. God could care less what someone else thinks of me (for my benefit anyway). God does care about how I view myself. There will always be trouble when the pendulum swings in "my favor" and putting me out in front of God. Maybe that is where I am now? I don't know. And just one thing about "going to" church. I believe more and more that God doesn't bat an eyelash at the fact that we "go to" church. I think the crux of the matter is what we do when we "go from" church.

What I do know is that I want to want to be able to answer yes to the question of the Great Commandment. I know that I should answer yes. I know that answering yes is the correct Sunday school answer in mixed company but is not the real answer.

Now I am not mad at God. I am not complaining about my life. Conversely, God has been over abundantly good to me and my family in spite of myself. I know that is a little out of place but felt I had to throw it in there.

How do I, or we, get passed this?

For starters I think I have to get passed myself. I mentioned earlier about not being moved to the altar, to kneel and pray, and then asked a question at the end of that. I'm not so sure I haven't been. I'm thinking that I actually have been so moved. I'm thinking that God has nudged me in such ways and after quick and careful analysis, I concluded that the prompted action was unnecessary. Yes, that's right. I concluded that something God wanted me to do was unnecessary. Come on...I know some of you are with me on this.

In the book "Primal" the author says "you cannot just listen to half of what the Holy Spirit has to say. Its a package deal. If you aren't wiling to listen to everything He has to say, you won't hear anything He has to say."

I have found that to be true and compounding. The more I listen, and obey, the more I hear. The less I listen, and obey, the less I hear. Can I just admit that? If you have found any commonality with anything I've said can you just admit that? Can we admit that there is often a strong relationship between how much we see and hear God to how vigilantly we listen and look for Him? It isn't about whether He exists, is active or involved in our lives, it is whether we look, listen, obey and acknowledge that He is.

I have a discipline problem. I have often approached my relationship with God with the same discipline I have approached exercise with. Short lived and when all else falls into place and it is convenient to do it. And of course, after a steady decline in frequency thus not yielding any visible results, I figure, what's the point and I stop. I can only pray that as I age my body will be a fraction as forgiving for my lack of discipline as God is with me. If I decided to be a vegan and approached it with the same determination I approach my relationship with God I would be a vegan for a week, then a vegetarian, then I'd be onto fish, then chicken and steak within 2 months.

I need to listen. I need to act. I have done so. I know what it feels like. For me, if I find myself arguing away doing something "nice" for someone because it doesn't make sense, it makes me feel uncomfortable, someone else will think I'm weird, the opportunity is right in front of me, my anxiety goes up as I'm debating this out of nowhere strange prompting, yup, that's me trying to ignore God again. And if I may pat myself on the back here...I've gotten good at that. Not something to be proud of. I'm thankful that God knows this about me and continues to present opportunities for me to serve him.

I am thankful for this book "Primal" and the friends that I am walking through it with for being a catalyst to focus my attention back to The only book that I really need to strengthen my relationship with God, to focus on The Great Commandment, and to start on a journey of climate change.

Until sometime in the future - Dayenu.

Catching up

Since my last blog, man...sooo much has happened! The lack of an update is partially do to not keeping up and partially for not having time!

At the end of June we sold our house and moved into an apartment. Then on August 17th our daughter Dayanna (you may recognize the spelling of her name as containing the first part of the word Dayenu) was born. A month later we found out that Dayanna had an aortic coarctation (or narrowing of the aorta) and had to have surgery. That resulted in 5 days at Dell Children's hospital. I am happy to report the surgery went wonderfully and she is doing great!

Finally, we closed on our new house and moved in last week. We are really excited about the move! In addition to the new space and opportunities it will provide our family, it is a new space and opportunity for our clients as well.

Our office will be a dedicated consultation and showroom and we will also have a dedicated studio space! The pieces are still being put together but the excitement is building as everything takes shape.

And now, time to attend to a hungry baby :) !

Dayenu!

Who Likes Italian?

Good late Monday.

I have some exciting news this week! I am pleased to announce a new partnership with industry leading album designer GraphiStudio. GraphiStudio offers a fantastic selection of beautiful hand made, Italian albums. Their pages are gorgeous, their covers are amazing, and their hand crafted quality is unmatched.

We will now offer these albums to our clients in addition to our Zookbooks. These are great for weddings and portraits of all types. Moms, dads, babies, seniors, bridals, engagements, and of course, to showcase your entire wedding.

Be sure to ask about them with your consult and session!

This past weekend we had a heck of a church service! Church was held outside at a subdivision recreation center. The band was set up under a pavilion, brisket that had been slow cooked all day was served, and several baptisms were done in the community pool!

Ages ranged from around 4 to, um, at least over 40 (yes, I joke a little bit with that update so I don't get myself into too much trouble). It was so moving to see 3 dads baptize their sons and even 1 son, baptize his dad. If there was one person that cried there were a hundred! It is simply something one cannot appreciate without experiencing it. Experiencing comes with a caveat too. My guess is unless you yourself have done what Jesus called us all to do and have been baptized, you just can't completely appreciate baptism. Added on to that is the inability to completely appreciate the honor and joy of being able to baptize your own child, or for that matter your own father. A quote from a 7 year old while being tucked into bed the day he was baptized:

"Mom? When I came out of the water I felt totally different."

I can appreciate the baptism but cannot yet fully understand all that comes with seeing your own child being baptized and on top of that, being able to do it. Not yet at least.

I had an interesting moment a few days ago that goes along with this. Many of you know that Amanda and I are expecting our first child in August. I say the following with much love...Amanda is obviously pregnant. That is not a comment on her size, just the fact that she is no doubt, pregnant. Because, she just so happens to be, pregnant. My point is that this is certainly not a revelation for me. I've known about this since December. We are preparing for the baby, going to birthing classes, having wonderful shower gifts given to us, talking about the baby, and even feeling the baby move.

I grin in amazement sometimes that my child is actually with my wife, inside my wife, developing in a supremely divine way. That brings me back to reality that having a baby does not mean having a child on layaway and you just pick it up after the 9th and final monthly payment is made.

The moment that I am leading up occurred after Amanda returned from her first baby shower. She/we/our child was given this precious little one piece that we plan on bringing our little one home from the hospital in and Amanda showed it to me. For the first time I saw my child. I saw my child safely wrapped up in this pint sized outfit, protected and comforted from all of its strange new environment. When I held the outfit I held my child. When Amanda and I handled the outfit back and forth, we were delicately passing off our newborn to the care of the other.

After visually removing my child from the outfit prior to folding it up (the child wouldn't fold very easily) the two words that came to my mind were grace and mercy. We as humans can talk about grace, talk about mercy, see signs of it in the world, in our friends and families. However, until each of us had the opportunity to be brushed by grace, rescued by mercy, we just will never truly understand it. We may have experiences that bring us closer to each one but until we are able to have a personal encounter with them and recognize them as such, we will not understand nor appreciate either.

I am preparing at least a little bit to become a father. Books, prayer, discussions, prayer, close observations of other parents, prayer, and then some prayer as well. With all that I have described I still completely know that I don't know what it is like to be a parent. To in an instance be completely responsible for another delicate soul. I know that at some point Amanda and I will be kicked out of the hospital and there will be this third party with no return policy, no rental expiration, no free trial. That for sure will be the instance I feverishly pray for many more spoonfuls of grace. I know I'll need it.

I also know that it is then I will know what it is like to be like to be a father. I'm not saying I will know *how* to be a father, only that I will have the experience to know what it is like, at least the beginning. I liken it also to knowing grace and mercy. To knowing what it is like to be baptized. Experiencing the blessings that grace brings and the freedom that mercy springs. Knowing what it is like to see a son, a daughter, a father, walk into a pool and declare that because of or regardless of who is watching they are a son or daughter of Christ.

All of these things are available to you. No matter who you are, how old you are, what you have done (both good and not so good).

I pray that you seek these things out and they be made clear to you. I pray that you do this sooner than later. As I write this there is a man, Mr. Nichols who is not going to live much longer and may not live through the night. It was tonight, perhaps his last night, that he embraced grace and mercy by placing what is left of his life into the hands of Christ. Anytime that occurs is a wonderful thing. I pray that for you, grace and mercy will accompany long before you draw your last breath.

Until next time.

-Ryan

Keeping on Track

It looks like I'm keeping on track with what has turned out to be a monthly update.  I obviously haven't gotten any better about updating the blog.  God help me with my discipline.

What in wide wide world of sports  has been going on (I could insert photography but totally kills the reference)?

I left my last blog in a spirit of thanks and humbleness.  I'm not far from that now.  It seems the last month (as does each month) cruises by so fast.  I did meet with Blake and Carol and solidified their wedding photography plans for June of next year.  They are getting married at Dunvegan Keep here in Austin.  GREAT place.  I have done numerous portrait sessions there but this will be the first wedding. I'm looking forward to that.  Maybe Craig at Dunvegan will have the air conditioner fixed by then (joking, outdoor venue with some exception).  At any rate I was happy to meet Carol and get to spend some time with Carol and Blake together.  I know I can add them to my list of great clients.

Michelle and David's wedding in Bastrop  was great!  Both of them looked fantastic!  The proofs are done and posted for Michelle folks to view.  One of my favorite photos is of Michelle and David after the ceremony in a cool green vintage Dodge wearing aviator sunglasses.  Classsssic! 

I also met with Daryl and Kristina to finalize their album choices.  I know Kristina worked hard at picking out the images for the album.  It is in the design process now and I know it is going to turn out beautifully.

On the topic of albums we are preparing to expand our album choices.  We are partnering with Italian GraphiStudio to offer their amazing product lines.  We will continue to offer the timeless Zookbook from Zookbinders as well.  This just means more options for our clients.  That is a big part of our business philosophy: give our clients options and let them choose.  That is why contrary to industry wisdom we won't "sell" you anything.  We will counsel you on what we offer, what we have done, what others have done, and let you choose.  It's your wedding.  Not ours.

At the end of last month I had a chance to reconnect with an old friend (no reference to age Dan, just that we met...14 years ago!!!!!!).  Some of you may know I have a background in Fire and EMS during highschool and college.  Dan was a paramedic during my first EMT school.  Fittingly, Dan is also a photographer and largely thanks to Facebook we keep up with each other now.  He and his girlfriend Kristie came to Austin and we walked around 6th St and the Capitol taking photos and catching up.  Really enjoyed that.  Next month Amanda and I, Dan, Kristie and some other friends will being going to San Antonio.  We are going to fellowship, go to the missions, and hopefully turn out some beautiful photos.

Pete is another friend that I met just about the same way I did Dan.  Pete is an Austin firefighter and photographer.  Since he is a bit closer than Dan (Houston) I have the chance to visit with Pete from time to time. We went to a workshop together which was interesting...and have plans to go to a seminar in San Antonio next month as well.  It is so cool that I have such long time friends to just hang out and talk our craft and improve our trade with.

I also need to acknowledge 2 of my family members.  Last month, Amanda's sister Jackie, completed her first year of vet school at ATM.  We went to their White Coat Ceremony during which those that complete the first year of school get ............. a yellow lab coat (yes its white but hey, with Aggies you never know).  Secondly, last weekend we went to Houston because my brother Jason received his MBA from Rice University.  What an accomplishment!  Full time job, wife, daughter, 2 dogs (we always include dogs in our family) and completed his MBA....from Rice.  Congratulations Jackie and Jason (congratulations Cybil for making it through too.  When we come down for Matt's graduation I'll introduce you to your husband)!! 

Lastly, its Sunday morning.  Here is how my morning as gone.  I woke up to no alarm clock at 8. Kicked the dogs out. Had breakfast, coffee and watched Sunday Morning on ABC (I like that show).  Finished putting together the slides for church this evening. Caught up on facebook.  Wrote this blog.  All while listening to Pandora Radio on my David Crowder Band station that Pandora swears was crafted just for me.

Who cares? I write this to provoke some thought.  Today I prepare myself for church that starts at 5pm.  I used to go to church at the time most folks go to church, early for Sunday school and then church immediately following.  Did that for well, all of my life minus the last year.  Each Saturday night ended knowing it had to end because I had to get up early Sunday and hurry to get to the church on time.  Honestly, it was a chore more often than not.   Sunday mornings are nothing like that anymore.  Most of my Sunday mornings go just like this one.  When I check facebook I see members of our church updating their facebook status with things like "breakfast with the kids. doing yardwork. being lazy sipping on coffee."  I don't see anyone needing to hurry up and get out of the house.

The thought is this: Is the latter the type of Sunday and worship preparation that God wants for us versus the chaos that often comes with making sure we scurry out of the house to get to church on time in the morning?

Just a thought.  Let me put this fire out before closing: NO, I am not saying morning church is bad, ungodly, not wise, lesser, or any other negative implications that some touchy, defensive, or insecure folks might attribute to my thought.  I am also NOT on a recruiting mission for our church.

Take what I have asked at its face value.  Think about it and come to a conclusion on your own.

Many Blessings.

-Ryan

Dayenu

Wow...what an amazing weekend! It was so good (and the crowd responds "how good was it?"). It was so good that it inspired me to write more than my facebook page can handle!

Before I go backwards a bit let me start by introducing this word that I learned at a Seder (or passover) meal that Amanda and I went to that our church hosted on Saturday. That word is Dayenu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dayenu ). Rather than me explaining all that it means, feel free to follow the link to wikipedia that does a great job with it. When I heard dayenu for the first time it was such a perfect illustration of my life. I deserve nothing yet have been given so incredibly much.

Our family, our friends, our clients, even our pets are such blessings to us. Amanda and I are so fortunate that we usually have a very short list of clients. How can that be a good thing you are asking yourself? Our clients seem to stay clients for such a short time before they become our friends. Obviously we do the work we are contracted to do but it isn't like a sterile business deal. Our work becomes friends providing a service to friends. We have a genuine interest in the lives of our friends and they in ours.

Dayenu.

Two recent examples of this is I photographed the Enriquez family for the second time since the birth of their Madelyn. While the goal of the day was of course to provide them with wonderful images of their family, we had such a nice time during the session walking by Barton Springs, taking their portraits and visiting like good friends. The photos by the way came out great!

Dayenu.

I also had the chance to visit with and go to lunch with Anna. I photographed Anna and Jayson's wedding on March 3, 2007 and they have since been blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Austyn. They invited me to their home to do maternity photos shortly before Austyn made his first appearance. Anna contacted me again because their two year anniversary had arrived. I was happy to be able to meet Anna for lunch and hand deliver their original images to her. It was great to be able to visit like old friends. I look forward to photographing Austyn in the near future.

Dayenu.

I have also been contracted for Rebecca and Kye's wedding in May of 2010. I am thankful for their trust in our business and look forward to getting to know them better as well. In addition to their wedding in May, I have a follow up with Blake and Carol that should solidify their wedding photography for June of 2010. Each of you provide me with new opportunities to learn, serve, and grow. For that I am grateful.

Dayenu.

Now to this weekend. Friday was Amanda's birthday. For dinner we went to the Belmont on 6th st in Austin and had a nice and quaint dinner for two. Then we walked to Maria Maria, La Cantina for some coffee, dessert, and live music from The Brew. Did you know that Carlos Santana is one of the owners there? Neat place. My wife is such a neat person. I am thankful that she continues to choose to love me. So, in my blog, 2 days later, again, Happy Birthday.

Dayenu.

As I mentioned earlier Saturday we went to the Seder meal. Ever heard of that? For most of you, yeah, me neither. The last supper, a passover meal, was a Seder meal. Of course, most Christians do not practice a real Seder meal because in one oversimplified since, the Seder is to prepare the way for the Messiah. Jews believe the Messiah is yet to come while Christians believe we are waiting on Jesus to come again. So, I don't think I can say we participated in the Seder so that suddenly Elijah would show up with the Messiah known by some other name than Jesus shortly behind him. It did however connect a lot of dots about the history of Christianity and how the things of the Seder all pointed to the life of Christ and the scriptures that he fulfilled. When the word Dayenu was introduced, oh how humbling. The meal was a first and one that I hope next year, at least a hundred more folks get to experience.

Dayenu.

Oh, then today. Easter. The day upon which the Christian church rests. But not for today and the empty tomb, the risen Christ, the past 2000 years is nothing but history's greatest sham. Some may read this and say it is a sham. In that case, I simply invite you to find evidence it is. All of the evidence I have read through biblical history confirms it and secular history absolutely cannot deny or disprove it. My life is a series of miracles and wonders that could only be possible through hands of a risen, living Jesus.

Dayenu.

Many of you know that Amanda and I went to and were married at Hyde Park Baptist Church in Austin. We loved the church and had/have such great respect and admiration for the pastor, Dr. Bowman. Just over a year ago God called us away from Hyde Park to start going to Austin New Church. Leaving Hyde Park was hard to do. We were not at a point like many where the pastor said something to make us mad so that we were going to "show him" and leave. Quite the contrary, we looked forward to Dr. Bowman's sermon every week. Well, this morning we attended the 11 o'clock sermon at Hyde Park. I have to admit, in some respects it was a similar feeling that I get when I go home to Houston. The house always feels like home no matter where you may live or how long you have been away. After the sermon Amanda and I were able to run to the guest reception and visit with Dr. Bowman for literally a minute or two. What a blessing he has been to Amanda and I as individuals and as a couple. We are very thankful for the guidance he has provided us before and since he married us.

Dayenu.

Then there was Austin New Church this evening. Same mission, different method than Hyde Park. Tonight while there was not a sermon, there most definitely was a message (borrowed that from Tray). The evening was focused on worship and workmanship of a living God. Trace, Shonna, Tabitha and Sabrina are members of the church that were so incredibly brave to allow their stories to be videotaped and shown in front of hundreds of people. It is so evident that the leaders and members of Austin New Church are following the path that has been lit beneath our feet. The people mentioned above have come through and overcome some major hurdles in their lives and in their faith. What a powerful message of faith, hope, and love that was delivered this evening. I was in the light booth and was responsible for playing the video and then transitioning back to the lyrics for the song the band was going to play next. After each video I wasn't sure if I could get the tears out of my eyes fast enough to see which button I was supposed to push next! If you are reading this, you will be one of the first to find out that those videos are now on line at www.austinnewchurch.com for viewing.

Dayenu.

In closing let me acknowledge that gratitude is usually not displayed enough. Please take this blog as just a small expression of it to each of you who allow me to be in even the smallest part of your lives. God blesses me when I am blessed by you.

Dayenu.

Say What?

I woke up to a strange surprise today.  My voice left sometime during the night.  It has gotten progressively worse today.  I found that two other people I know are experiencing something similar.  Hopefully it will be short lived.

Although scheduling a consult this week isn't the best idea because I can't talk!!! I am now taking bookings for 2010!

The last almost 4 years have been great and I have all of you to thank for it. I know I have the best clients and friends!  I look forward to 2010 and the exciting new opportunities, challenges, and fantastic clients that are around the corner.

So, if you know someone looking at a 2010 wedding, I am ready to get them signed up!

Be blessed,

-Ryan

African Children's Choir

Yesterday I went and saw a concert put on by the African Children's Choir   (www.africanchildrenschoir.com) as they came through Austin.  WOW! What a great show!  Many of you know that I spent 2 weeks in Kenya in July of 2007.  Since then I have had a higher level of awareness and compassion for that place.  When I heard the choir was coming through town there was very little that would have stood in my way of seeing the performance.

All I knew when I showed up was that kids, from Africa, would be giving a choir concert.  Makes sense yes?  I learned from being there that the choir is so much more than  music.  While music is a huge part of what they do, they are really about changing lives (to read more about their mission see their webpage).  Of course I took photos.  I'm talking with the organization now about where to send a disk with all of the images to.  I hope that my images can in some way be used to further their ministry.

I used to get frustrated at the television commercials for "feed the children" and other organizations like that which depicted African children as all shoeless orphans huddled into a run down shack.  I wondered to myself how long the film crew had to search to find those sorts of kids.  Well, from my time in Kenya, I can assure you it is much more difficult to avoid those types of kids than to find them.  That is truly how the majority lives and goes to schools (for those that have schools).  Many do not have shoes.  They walk through fields that have thorns you could use to build a house (I know, I had one go through my shoe!!)  Street orphans are real.  Just outside of our hotel in Isiolo there were 3 kids, probably around the age of 12 addicted to sniffing glue, trying to "cook" food found in the garbage,  in a soup can from the garbage, using sticks and matches.  This is how they survived.  They had no one to look out for them.  Their hopes lie in finding scraps to eat and the next glue bottle to sniff.  Our prayers were for God to get through to them, somehow, some way, in such a way only God can.  Largely because of the glue, human attempts to communicate with them were pointless.

Many of the kids that are selected to the choir are in similar situations or are at high risk for being there.  Parents are either dead or just simply gone.  To see innocent children being so brave to embark on a journey and bring blessings half a world away was truly moving.  Despite their hardships, each child in the choir had a smile that I only wish I could keep for a few days at a time.

So what does any of this matter and how does it apply to you?  Well, if you have a couple of minutes check out the choir's website (www.africanchildrenschoir.com) see what they are about, and if it is something you lead to do anything with.

I can assure you however, if you do choose to something, you won't regret it.

Be Blessed.

-Ryan